[Cold Open]
[Cassette hiss]
[Distant club bass through a wall]
BOOM...
BOOM...
BOOM...
[Voice extremely close]
Everybody looks beautiful
under a strobe light.
That's the problem.
[909 kick fades in]
[Verse 1]
Four in the morning.
Bathroom mirror.
Somebody wrote
a phone number
on my wrist.
I don't remember
whose.
There's sweat
on the ceiling.
My ears are ringing.
Some guy beside me
keeps saying:
“This one...
this fucking one.”
Every time
the DJ changes records.
[Small laugh]
Maybe he's right.
Maybe every song
is the one
when you don't
want the night
to finish.
[Offbeat bass enters]
BUM—BUM—BUM—BUM.
I came here
to stop thinking.
Terrible place
for that.
Because somehow
when the music
gets loud enough...
I hear myself
better.
[Snare]
PAAH!
[Verse continues]
I dance.
I smile.
Somebody puts
an arm around me.
I don't know him.
Doesn't matter.
For thirty seconds
we're best friends.
Then he's gone.
That's this place.
People appear.
People disappear.
Nobody asks
where they went.
[Hoover synth slowly rises]
And I like that.
Because lately
I've been disappearing too.
Just slower.
[Beat cuts]
[Voice]
Nobody noticed.
[Silence]
[Old rave piano enters softly]
[Pre-Drop]
You used to say:
“You're never really here.”
I hated that.
Because I was
standing right there.
[Breath]
Now I understand.
[Voice cracks]
Fuck.
[Kick disappears]
I understand.
[Sudden scream]
I WASN'T FUCKING THERE!
[Silence]
[Scream sample repeats faintly]
THERE...
THERE...
THERE...
[Massive 90s rave drop]
[The scream becomes a pitched rave lead]
AH—EH—AH—EH!
[Hook]
WHEN THE STROBE GOES OUT—
DO YOU STILL
LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS—
DO YOU STILL
WANNA BE ME?
WHEN THE ROOM GOES WHITE
AND THE SUN
COMES THROUGH—
I CAN'T DANCE
FAST ENOUGH
TO GET AWAY
FROM THE TRUTH!
[303 acid line]
[Verse 2 - rapid rhythm]
Five something.
Now it's faster.
Or I'm slower.
Can't tell.
The piano comes in.
Everybody screams.
Hands up.
Eyes closed.
And for a second—
fuck—
I get it.
Why people
keep coming back.
Not for the drugs.
Not for the lights.
Not even
for the music.
For this.
This stupid
little moment
where nobody
has a past.
Nobody owes
an explanation.
Nobody is
somebody's mistake.
You are just
a body
inside
a kick drum.
[909]
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
BOOM.
And then my brain
ruins it.
Of course.
I remember your kitchen.
Six in the evening.
You crying quietly
because the neighbours
could hear.
And me saying:
“Can we do this later?”
[Beat suddenly stops]
[Vocal, dry]
Later.
Jesus Christ.
I said:
“Later.”
Like pain
had office hours.
[Silence]
[Voice becomes rough]
You looked at me
like something
inside you
had finally
stopped trying.
[Hoover begins screaming underneath]
And tonight
I finally know
that look.
Because I've been
making it
at myself.
[Build]
[Snare rolls]
PAH—
PAH—
PAH-PAH-PAH—
[Voice]
Don't drop it yet.
[Music holds]
Not yet.
[Breathing]
Let me say this.
[Everything almost silent]
I wasn't confused.
I wasn't “going through shit.”
I wasn't bad
at communicating.
Sometimes...
I knew
you needed me.
And I chose
not to be there.
[Long pause]
Because being needed
felt like pressure.
Until you stopped
needing me.
Then it felt
like death.
[Voice tears]
That's the truth.
[Full scream]
NOW DROP IT!
[Enormous bakalao drop]
[Hoover + rave piano + 303 + scream-lead]
[Hook]
WHEN THE STROBE GOES OUT—
DO YOU STILL
LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS—
DO YOU STILL
WANNA BE ME?
WHEN THE ROOM GOES WHITE
AND THE SUN
COMES THROUGH—
I CAN'T DANCE
FAST ENOUGH
TO GET AWAY
FROM THE TRUTH!
[Lead scream]
FASTER!
[Kick intensifies]
FASTER!
[Acid rises]
I SAID—
FASTER!
[Everything suddenly cuts]
[Silence]
[Voice whisper]
See?
Still here.
[Breakdown]
[Only distant rave piano]
[Outside ambience]
[Voice exhausted]
Six twenty.
Doors open.
Cold air.
Everybody suddenly
looks human again.
Mascara running.
Shirts wet.
Jaw hurts.
Somebody's sitting
on the curb
tying a shoe.
A girl is laughing
like nothing bad
has ever happened
to anybody.
Beautiful.
[Small pause]
The sky's turning blue.
I hate that.
Night lets you
lie to yourself.
Morning checks
the paperwork.
[Very distant kick]
BOOM...
BOOM...
I look at my wrist.
That number
is almost gone.
Sweat rubbed it off.
For some reason...
that hurts.
I don't even know
who wrote it.
[Final build]
Maybe that's
what scares me.
How easy
everything disappears
when the lights
come on.
People.
Numbers.
Promises.
Versions of you.
[Voice rises]
Versions of me.
[909 returns]
And everybody says:
“See you next week.”
Like we're all
coming back
because we love dancing.
[Voice cracks]
Maybe some of us
just haven't learned
how to go home.
[Final rave explosion]
[Chopped scream lead returns]
AH—EH—AH—EH!
[Final Hook]
WHEN THE STROBE GOES OUT—
I CAN SEE
EVERYTHING!
NO BLACK LIGHT!
NO SMOKE!
NO FUCKING
LASER BEAMS!
JUST ME!
FIVE MINUTES
PAST THE PARTY!
WITH A HEAD
FULL OF NOISE
AND A BODY
FULL OF SORRY!
[Voice screaming over rave]
I CAN'T OUTRUN IT!
I CAN'T OUTDANCE IT!
I CAN'T TURN IT
INTO ANOTHER SONG!
[Music stops beneath scream]
I WAS WRONG!
[Long silence]
[Outro]
[Distant club bass]
BOOM...
BOOM...
[Voice very low]
Somebody behind me says:
“After?”
[Small pause]
I look at the sunrise.
No.
[Breath]
I think I'm going home.
