[Verse 1]
Woke up, turned the faucet
Out comes oil from AEP
Smelled like grandpa’s toolbox
Looked back up at God like, “Really?”
Kids yell, “School’s canceled”
Teacher’s live-streaming from their phone
Now the whole town’s at city hall
Taking showers trying not to fall
[Chorus]
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
Can’t flush, can’t wash, can’t sip
Water bottles stacked up to the ceiling
Plastic forks on every dish
Pack the kids, drive three towns over
Just to shower and take a—trip
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
And life still don’t give a rip (hey!)
[Verse 2]
Laundry bag in the backseat
Smells like wet dog and defeat
Mom’s praying in the minivan
Dad’s cussin’ at laundry receipt
Kids fighting over iPads
“I’m bored” on a ten-hour loop
I say, “Go play in the backyard”
They say, “Can’t, it smells like toxic soup”
[Chorus]
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
Can’t cook, can’t clean, just pout
Brushing teeth with bottled bubbles
Spitting sadness in the grout
Water bottles stacked up to the ceiling
Trash cans spilling down the route
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
Can’t even rinse our doubts
[Bridge]
[Banjo break with stomps and jug pops]
Forecast says snow apocalypse
Like the Lord hit “shuffle” on the news
“Boil your snow,” they’ll tell us next
If it don’t glow neon hues
Once-in-a-century snowstorm
Rolling in like “How y’all been?”
I’m out front clapping in my coveralls
Singing, “Go on, just pile it in”
[Chorus]
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
Snowdrifts up to the mail
Kids bouncing off dirty dishes
Mom’s one shriek from county jail
If creek don’t look like oil slick
Might go camp out by the pail
We got the Wayne water blues, baby
Still laughing so we don’t derail (oh yeah)
[Outro]
So cheers with your warm flat soda
From a cup you barely rinsed
Then grab your jug of free water
And get only the essentials wet
We’ll clap, stomp, jug this heartbreak
Turn our headache into a tune
Wayne water blues ain’t over
But hopefully kids will be back soon
